Three Kinds of Immortals

I only just rediscovered this one myself. I reread what little I had written and I wanted to read the rest. So I guess I’ll have to get working on it again. God only knows what the plot was meant to be.

There’s a lot of different kinds of immortality. There’s the traditional immortal, the metaphorical immortal, and the reincarnation sort of immortal. I’ve met all three, and I’ll fight anyone who doesn’t agree with me on this point, because, see, I’m the traditional sort of immortal. I don’t die, I don’t age, I don’t get sick, and honestly, I don’t tend to get into life-threatening danger, so I don’t know if I would even die that way.

My girlfriend is the reincarnation sort of immortal, and it’s all very tragic and sad because she gets old or sick and she dies, then I’ve got to wait for her to be reborn before we can finally get together again and she doesn’t have a clue who I am.

So, yeah, that happened.

These days I’m working on my fifth novel (under the seventh pseudonym), and it looked like it might even be published that this rate. I’m currently girlfriend-less, I’m waiting on her to pop up again. We sort of did this soul-bonding ceremony thing a couple thousand years ago and we eventually get drawn to each other. That one awkward time that I found her when she was four is probably best not talked about. I did a little bit of the stalker thing and her parents were pretty terrible that time around. Didn’t even notice me lurking around for fifteen years.

But back to these days. I’m working on my novel, but obviously I also need income, so I’m working for an investment firm. I’m pretty good if I say so myself, I do the business thing pretty often, so I understand the flow of the market or whatever. Maybe I just have some kind of sixth sense for business and investing. Honestly I’m so good at investing I could probably quit my job, my investments are sound enough that I could keep going just from what I get there, but it gets boring when my girlfriend isn’t around (her name changes every time, so in the inbetween I try not to think of her by a name, makes it easier when we meet again).

Today is a Saturday, so no work and I’m sitting in front of my computer trying to work on my novel, but I’m scrolling on tumblr instead. It’s really a problem for my productivity. I was much better off twenty years ago when computers were really only good for stuff like word processing and the internet wasn’t all that interesting. I was way more productive, wrote two novels and a half dozen short stories in the 90s.

It’s also one of those days that even though you know you’re not going to get anything accomplished, you still try to convince yourself that, yeah, you can totally get shit done. It’s a lie, you’ve written five words.

So I do what all great writers do in this situation. I went out for lunch.

I’m probably terrible, but I do tend to go to chain restaurants, so lunch today was at one of those bread company places with the sandwiches. There’s like six of them, and they’re all basically just as good as the others, so…I never bother to remember the names. I get something different every time anyways. You’ve got to find some way to keep your life interesting when you live as long as I do.

So I’m sitting eating my sandwich and reading some new release book (I don’t hold with the people who say you should only read the classics. I read them, and they were great when they were new, but there’s only so many times you can read Wuthering Heights without wanting to murder Heathcliff), and in walks the most beautiful woman in the universe. But then, I’m prejudiced because I’ve been in love with her for, like, six thousand years.

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